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The wonderful stories of being the retards that we are!

~Dev and Steph

For New Years, which best describes your weight-loss resolutions, if any?

12/1/10

The Newlywed 30.

Hey everyone. Yes, we are starting the blog again. It's not that we ever started to begin with, but it's nice to have something to blog about every now and again.

For whatever reason, when two people are married, it seems those two people tend to gain weight. Most contribute this to the fact that the new couple is eating three solid meals a day and exercising less, which is much different from the single lifestyle where you ate a Powerbar twice a day and ran or biked everywhere you went. So, as biology would have it, with an increase of caloric intake and a decrease in caloric burn-off, the couple tends to get fat in the first year.

Steph and I sat down the other day and assessed what caused our weight gain. It's not like we're ugly-fat, but we do have some pounds to shed. Considering most of our meals are homemade--even down to the bread--we discovered it wasn't our eating habits in regards to the meals that needed improving.

It's baking. For me personally, baking may some day be my death.

Coming from largish families with nieces and nephews, whenever family togetherness happens, it normally happens around lots of food. So if we are asked (or volunteer) to bring dessert and/or something else that is sweet, we normally bring two or three batches of it. The leftovers get sent home with us, and I eat the rest. Another trap is when we have company over. One batch of molasses cookies ends up being more than 4 adults need. So again, there remain plenty, and I eat the rest.

These awful eating habits have ruined all the work Steph and I both exerted earlier this year to lose weight before our wedding. Now that we've been married for nearly seven months, apparently we need to start again. :(

The goal starts today. We figured we could be like half the US and set a New Years resolution about it, but we're starting early. We figure if we even maintain our weight throughout the month of December and successfully battle off the comfort food, pie, and other delights, we'll be okay. Until January 1st, we're hoping to minimize blimpage. And if we end up shedding a pound of two while doing it, that is just fine, too.

4/19/10

Emails and Stories

IN THE BEGINNING


Until recently, I found internet dating to be embarrassing if not shameful. If the dating life was a fish market, the internet was the bin where all the vendors threw whatever was left at the bottom of the barrel: all the fish that couldn't be thrown back.


With this bias in mind, you can imagine how hard it was for me to sign up for LDS Singles back in May.


But I'm getting ahead of myself. You see, Stephanie actually beat me there with a big push from her beloved brother-in-law. As a joke on her birthday in January, 2009, he purchased for her a membership on LDS Singles, claiming that since she was 25 years old, she needed help getting hitched. Though Stephanie was mortified at the idea of online dating, she used the service Steve paid for and went out with some men, though nothing serious happened. I'm sure she could have had her pick of any of these men, but none of them interested her.


My situation at that time seems a bit more pathetic now that I think about it. I was coming to the end of my Bachelor's program at the University of Utah, I'd just bought a condo, and I realized that with my nighttime work schedule, I was meeting no one. I remember sitting in my empty living room just after I moved in and had no furniture, and I felt depressed. My thoughts wandered to a friend I worked with, and how he was always checking his account on LDS Singles and meeting new girls. Sitting in my lone armchair in the dark condo late at night, I pulled out my credit card and eyed it over. Has it really come to this? I remember asking myself. Am I this desperate? Reluctantly, I created an account on LDS Singles and paid the money, dumbfounded at what I did.


The very next day I started browsing the website and found a girl whose screen name was Singing Newt. Because I enjoy singing and music, I sent her a quick email asking about herself. She sent another back, which somehow surprised me. So I wrote to her again, and we ended up sharing this back-and-forth exchange of emails for the next several weeks. Every day I came home from work, I could not wait another second to read the next email Singing Newt sent me about her day, about the thoughts on her mind, and about questions she had for me. The emails between us were elaborate and entertaining, never shallow one-liners. Even during my vacation we continued emailing, until we got the courage to actually meet.


She came to my house for the first date--something that impressed me quite a bit. What if I were some creepy guy? What if I was a freak who would have attacked her? I was confident she must have thought about these things, and yet she came to my house, and we went to dinner. Much later, I found out that her cousin was ready with a planned emergency, and with one text message she would call Stephanie and provide her the reason to leave in a hurry, should the situation get uncomfortable. So she didn't trust me completely, this guy she'd never met. But she did give me a chance.


Though the Thai food we had was sub-par, the conversation was perfect. Even when she thought the evening was coming to a close, I convinced her to stay another hour and play video games with me while we took a seat on the floor in front of my TV. (You must remember that I still had no furniture.)


And everything blossomed from there. Though the internet provided the line for us to meet, it was all the subsequent moments together that made us fall in love.


THE JOURNEY TO ENGAGEMENT


It took perhaps two months for me to know I'd be marrying this girl. So one day at work, a few of the girls I work with gathered around my computer screen and we browsed engagement rings. It began with no intention of purchasing, but when the ring she currently has on her left hand filled my browser window, I couldn't pass it up. It arrived in the mail October 1st, and I was completely stumped with how I would be presenting the gift.


The appropriate time of year to propose was December, which gave me two months to figure something out. Since I knew she enjoyed my writing, I figured I would write a story about her ring, considering such a rare antique needed some sort of history, even if that history was completely false. All through November I composed a story about Joseph the gem cutter fabricating this ring for his wife on their 50th wedding anniversary.


Her sister threw a pizza party in December and invited half of Draper to attend. I figured I'd go as well, and I asked if it would be alright with her if I proposed to Stephanie that night, considering friends and family would be there. As the night grew late, and many of the neighbors and other friends went home and dragged much of the children with them, a group of perhaps fifteen remained in the living room. Many of them--including Stephanie--had no idea I'd be reading a story and proposing that night, so when the mole we had planted asked about my writing and Stephanie's sisters begged me to read the short story I "just happened to finish," I'm sure these dear friends were not excited to hear it. But they stayed and endured the tale of Joseph of the gem cutter. Toward the end, I knelt upon the ground and pulled the ring from my bag, the very same ring I said Joseph made. It sparkled like a diamond from a fairytale in the light of the fire, and half the room was excited an instant later to see the pretty stone on her finger.


After the immortal words, "Holy crap, dude!" uttered from Stephanie's mouth, and my statement, "Well, there's that," when the scene was done, the family and friends shed tears and congratulated us on our engagement.


So if you didn't already guess it, she said yes!